Clouds

So I have been taking a lot of walks in the evenings over the last three months. It's been great for thinking and reflecting and of course it's good for me. Last night I took a walk and the night was beautiful. It was cold, but not the windy cold, bearable. The sky was clear and you could see lots of stars and the glory of this universe that God created. Tonight I went out and it was foggy and clouds covered the stars. I looked up into what seemed to be nothingness (flashback to The Never Ending Story : ) ). I thought about the difference between last night and tonight. One night, all was revealed... and the next, nothingness.

This is what it feels like sometimes in my spiritual journey. There are moments where it feels as though God is so evident in my life, it is impossible to miss Him. Then there are other times when I look for God and it feels as though I'm looking into nothingness. Many times this occurs when I am trying to listen to God and prepare lessons for my students. Sometimes I can feel so inspired that I can get up, only with ideas in my head, and deliver everything exactly as I feel it. Then there are other times when I have done lots of preparation, yet get up and feel like the ideas just aren't coming out the way they feel inside me,,, nothingness. I am aware that, like the stars, God is still there whether I see him or not. I am confident that even in the times that feel cloudy, God is working through me. I wonder though whether the cloudy times aren't times where I should stop and listen. Maybe less structure for my students during these times is what is needed. Perhaps the cloudy times are the times that I need to spend more time listening to my kids.

My prayer tonight is that my kids have plenty of clear nights when it comes to the beauty, mystery, and majesty of God. So many clear nights that they don't forget the presence behind the nothingness on the cloudy nights.